


Finding the Balance

by crazygirlne



Series: Western Immersion Verse [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adventure, Domestic Fluff, Dominant!Doctor (only chapter two), F/M, Fluff, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-10 20:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5599189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazygirlne/pseuds/crazygirlne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rose have just started out in their new relationship, and now they have flirty, recently-ex-conman Jack Harkness on board the TARDIS with them. They struggle to find a balance between a healthy relationship and overwhelming domesticity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will cover The Empty Child through The Christmas Invasion, but I’ll go as light on the rewrites of what we see as I can; rewrites have already been done, and well, by others. There will be more scenes we didn’t see, adventures that got referenced, and original adventures.
> 
> I’m not sure how long this will be, exactly, which isn’t very typical for me, but I need a looser format to help balance my other projects, and I’ve been mulling this story over since before I finished Western Immersion. I have scenes I want to share with you, and the story will be as long as it needs to properly cover them all. 
> 
> Chapter Summary: A little recap, then picks up after the events of The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances.
> 
> Beta: GoingToTheTardis

The Doctor wasn’t always in bed when Rose woke. He usually stayed with her at least until she fell asleep. Her favorite mornings, though, were the ones when he’d needed sleep himself, staying through the night with an arm holding her against his chest.

When she rolled over and found his side of her bed empty a few weeks after they’d left the historical immersion, she sighed before smiling to herself. She knew by the time she got up and got dressed, he’d have breakfast ready for her in the galley. That part of their routine hadn’t changed at all with their relationship.

Being together had made things better, mostly, though she was almost dreading their next trip home. Even if he went along with it, she knew the domestic stuff with Jackie was hard on him. She rolled onto her back and smiled at the ceiling, remembering their trip home to tell Jackie they were together. The look on his face when her mum had hugged him goodbye had almost been worth the stress on both their parts.

And then there was Mickey. Her smile fell. She still needed to tell him. She and Mickey weren’t properly together, had been falling apart before the Doctor showed up, and she thought her goodbye before entering the TARDIS had been pretty clear. Still, though, she should probably make sure he knew that they were over, that she and the Doctor had changed things.

Rose got out of bed and studied the clothing options the TARDIS had given her for the day; the ship always kept Rose’s favorites on hand, but there were almost always a few new things she could try, too. She grinned again as she selected her shirt, trying to imagine the Doctor’s reaction to her wearing the Union Jack across her chest.

As much as she knew that she should talk to Mickey, as much as she knew her mother would like to see her again, this time alone with the Doctor, not having to worry about anyone else, had been fantastic. They could get to know each other under these new circumstances, and when it got a little too domestic, they went out for an adventure.

It was almost perfect.

Of course there were still times he shut down, hid behind maintenance or just plain hid somewhere in the ship, but those times were less frequent now, she thought. She left her room and headed for the galley. Her breakfast was on the table, but the room was empty.

“Doctor?” she called. No response. Shrugging, she sat and started eating. He was probably doing some of that maintenance or something, and he didn’t always stay with her through breakfast. He’d still taken the time to make her something he knew she loved.

She’d almost finished when the ship shook. Rose let her fork fall to the plate with a clatter and jogged to the console room, clutching at a wall when the TARDIS shook again.

“Sorry, Rose.” The Doctor looked up from the console, grinning distractedly before returning to what he was doing. “Bit of an emergency.”

O~O~O

The Doctor spun her around before bringing her back to him, a little closer than the dance called for, his steps sure against the grating of the console room, his eyes never leaving hers. She knew the steps, and he made it easy to follow along, his gaze almost magnetic.

Rose grinned, and his stare finally broke, his eyes flickering to her lips. She licked them almost automatically, though she drew the motion out longer than she needed, and she was rewarded by the darkening of his eyes when they returned to hers.

Still, their steps never faltered.

On the last notes of the song, he dipped her backward in a flourish, the loss of eye contact and sudden change in position dizzying, her weight held securely in his arms, and she laughed. With his help, she straightened, her body coming flush against his, and she giggled against the skin of his neck. He chuckled, moving his hand to her waist, holding her close, his body tight with awareness.

Rose jumped when their newest passenger spoke.

“I think you two are too good together for me to cut in.” She could almost hear the grin in Jack’s voice as he finally addressed her offer. “If you ever decide you want a third partner, though…”

Rose turned, the Doctor keeping his hands loosely around her, and she leaned back against his chest while facing the smirking former Time Agent. “No, ta. I think we’re good with just the two of us.”

“Well, if you ever change your mind,” Jack said, raising his eyebrows, “just let me know, will ya?”

The Doctor wrapped his arms farther around her waist, and she saw Jack’s smile soften from lecherous to something a bit more genuine.

“Sure, we’ll get right on that.” Rose grinned, making sure tone and expression conveyed polite disinterest, and he nodded at her.

“Appreciate that.” He looked around the console room as the music started again, a slower, sultry tune.

The Doctor bent his head to Rose’s ear, his breath caressing her skin. “One more dance?”

Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and nodded before turning back to the Doctor. She looked over her shoulder at Jack. “If you wanna wait in the kitchen, I’ll be with you shortly to give you the tour.” She looked back at the Doctor, who nodded, watching the Captain.

“Second door to the right.” The Doctor tilted his head toward the corridor. “And don’t go wandering. TARDIS doesn’t know you yet and might let you get lost. She won’t let you go anywhere dangerous, but she does have a sense of humor.”

“Got it.”

When Jack left, the song started over, and Rose turned her attention to the Doctor. He’d been acting different today, and she thought he was either upset she’d been in danger or he was jealous about Jack. But she was fine, and in the meantime, she’d found someone who could help, hadn’t she? And as for Jack, she’d made it clear they could never be more than friends.

What she saw in the Doctor’s eyes now, though, it wasn’t anger or jealousy.

It was lust.

His eyes were dark again, once more fixed on hers. He started leading them through the steps, forward, back, around, keeping their hips close. This wasn’t a dance Rose knew, but he made it easy to follow, each step building the heat that simmered between them.

It reminded her of their first dance, in the historical immersion, when they weren’t even in a relationship yet, only pretending, but she’d been unable to fight the attraction. So had he.

It reminded her of their exchange earlier tonight, before Jack had rescued them, full of heat but not much in the way of actual movement.

It reminded her of falling into bed with him, the first time, every time, the possessive gleam in his eye tempered by his gentle, knowing touch.

They moved forward, his hands dipping lower, his face moving closer, his body language screaming.

_Mine_.

They moved back, and she tilted her face toward his, stopping with millimeters between their lips.

_Yours._

She knew her breath was uneven, coming hard from the exertion, from his proximity, and she could feel his breath against her lips, similarly affected despite his biological advantages.

In and out, their breath, the dance, until the music tapered to an end and they stilled.

“I should probably make sure Jack didn’t get lost or anything.” Rose’s voice came out in a rough whisper, and she swallowed.

“He’s a captain, Rose.” The Doctor’s lips brushed against hers as he spoke, and her breath hitched. “Or at least, that’s what you both insist. He’ll be fine for another minute.”

He finally, mercifully closed the gap between them--or maybe she had, she couldn’t say at that point, didn’t care--pressing their lips together, their bodies still flush as they tasted each other. He ran his tongue along her lower lip before deepening the kiss, and she fought a whimper, knowing he’d already look smug when he pulled back.

Sure enough, when the kiss ended--it had probably been more than another minute--he was wearing almost a smirk. The combination of it, though, the confidence, the certainty that he knew what she liked and that he could do it well, along with the hooded eyes and the hardness against her that let her know she wasn’t the only one affected…

She swallowed again, reminding herself that there was someone waiting for her, that the Doctor would probably join her after she’d gone to bed, that it wouldn’t be appropriate to shag against the console when Jack could walk in at any moment.

Not that Jack would likely mind.

The Doctor took a deep breath through his nose, then rested his forehead against hers. “You smell fantastic. Go take care of what you want before I let you drag me to bed and have the captain sleep in the kitchen.”

She kissed him again, a quick slide of her lips against his, then walked away before she could decide that the kitchen wasn’t so uncomfortable after all, that Jack would be perfectly fine sleeping there if the TARDIS didn’t show him to a room. She focused on steadying her breathing, on bringing the color out of her cheeks as she walked through the hall.

Rose didn’t do as good a job as she’d hoped; the first thing Jack did when she entered the kitchen was take one look at her face and smirk.

“Took you a while. Long dance or a quick--”

“Jack,” she interrupted, disapproval ruined by a laugh. She didn’t know yet whether the Doctor meant for Jack to stay long--she’d need to talk to him about that tonight before sleep--but it had been ages since she’d had someone to joke about things like this with. The Doctor was her best mate, sure, and he could be downright goofy at times, but they didn’t talk about sex until right before they’d started having it.

It was different.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop.” Jack held up his hands, a genuine grin on his face. “I mean, I can’t promise I’ll never tease you about it, but it’s not gonna be every other sentence.”

“Appreciate that.” Rose shook her head when she realized she’d echoed Jack’s earlier words, and she gave the other man an appraising look.

She’d been interested in Captain Jack Harkness from the start. Not in the way she’d normally be interested in someone so attractive--and she did have to admit he was that--but in his charisma, in the fact that she somehow knew he was good even when all signs pointed to his being nothing but a time-traveling con man.

Finding out he’d lost his memories and was trying to get them back had only enhanced that. He was a good man, she was sure of it. He just needed more chances to make the right choice. And even though she enjoyed having the Doctor to herself when they were on board the TARDIS, if he left it up to her whether Jack stayed on board or was left at the nearest port, she’d pick the former.

Jack raised his eyebrows, a mischievous quirk coming into his smile, and Rose realized she’d been staring as she considered him. As promised, though, he resisted making a comment, not that he needed to with it written all over his face. She rolled her eyes and gestured back out to the corridor.

“Come on. Let me show you around, see what sort of room the TARDIS picked out for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. Jack gets a tour of the TARDIS, and then Rose looks for the Doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential trigger: Possessive!Doctor and dominant themes, only this chapter. Willing to provide the chapter with adult scenes removed on request.
> 
> Beta: goingtothetardis

“So the TARDIS chooses rooms for its guests, huh?” Jack eyed the corridor as they walked.

Rose nodded. “Yeah. Least, that’s what the Doctor told me after she gave Adam a room that was basically a cupboard. I sort of accused the Doctor of picking the room. He insisted the TARDIS just had good taste.”

Jack chuckled. “The Doctor wasn’t a fan of Adam’s, I take it?”

“Not really, no.” Rose winced, remembering how mistaken she’d been to bring the other man on board. “He was a git, anyway. Nearly got us killed and tried to make himself rich while he was at it.”

“Ah. Bad form.”

“Says the man who was trying to con us a few hours ago.” Rose grinned at him, letting her tongue touch her teeth.

Jack had the grace to look sheepish. “Yeah, well. I didn’t know you then.”

The TARDIS hummed, interrupting Rose’s response, and they stopped in front of an unmarked door. Rose gestured, stepping back so Jack could open the door. “After you, Captain.” She grinned again when he hesitated, then leaned forward so she could see around him and into the room.

It was bigger than a cupboard, at least, and not horribly decorated. The dark greys and blues complemented Jack’s clothing, and he’d gotten his own closet, the same as Rose had. Rose followed him into the room, sitting on the small bed while he investigated the en suite.

“Not bad.” Jack’s tone indicated relief more than anything.

“Sorry if I made you worry about it,” Rose said when he came back into the room. “The TARDIS likes you though.” She peered back at the bed. “Except I’m pretty sure she’s telling you not to expect company in here.”

“A small bed just means more reason for people to touch.” Jack winked, and Rose blushed, remembering the bed she’d shared with the Doctor when they’d been stuck in the immersion. “Besides, I’m plenty creative when there’s not enough room.”

“I’m sure.” Rose stood and moved back to the doorway. “Come on, I’ll show you a few more things before turning in.”

“How do I find anything in here?” Jack asked, shutting the door behind them.

“If you think what you want at the TARDIS, she’ll help most of the time. A few of the rooms are labeled, and if you want to put something on your door to mark it as yours, she should keep it there.” She smiled. The Doctor had complained when she’d first decorated her door, but he’d done it absently, asking if she was “gonna hang curtains in the console room next” before asking her to hand him some odd-looking wrench and changing the subject.

She hadn’t missed the fact that the Doctor brushed his fingers against the door hanger every time he entered.

“Okay, so this is the library.” Bringing herself back to the present, she gestured at the door she’d led them to. “We spend a lot of time in here, me and the Doctor.” She watched Jack take in the comfortable couches, the ever-lit fireplace, and the full bookshelves stretching back out of sight.

She led them past the closed door marked “Pool.”

“If you ever want to go for a swim, the Doctor can take us somewhere better than the pool.” She blushed again, remembering the secluded lagoon he’d brought her to a week earlier, where he’d watched her swim until she finally talked him into joining her. He’d been fascinated by the play of water over her chest, chasing droplets along her skin with first his fingers, then his mouth.

Rose swallowed, ignoring Jack’s speculative glance, then waved him forward. “This is the media room. Pretty much any film you could think of.”

“Do you two have a lot of down time?” Jack glanced in the media room before looking at Rose.

She shrugged one shoulder. “Not really. We travel during the day, more often than not. It‘s nice to have this sort of thing here, though, for when we want it.”

Rose grinned at the next door they came to, throwing the door open with a flourish. “Last stop for tonight, this is the wardrobe room.”

“Oh, this is excellent.” Jack walked in, Rose just behind him, and looked around the room, his eyes wide.

“Yeah. The TARDIS usually sends stuff to my room when I need it now, but sometimes I still like to come in here anyway.”

“You and the Doctor ever play dress up?” Jack smirked.

“You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?” Rose answered lightly rather than following her first impulse and sticking out her tongue. “Right then, I’m headed to my room.” She ignored his knowing look. “Need me to walk you back to yours first?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks for the tour, Rosie.”

“Don’t mention it. Let the TARDIS know if you need anything, yeah? Or check the console room. You can usually find the Doctor there.”

“Will do.” He gave her a proper salute, and Rose was still laughing as she left the room.

She found herself passing her bedroom, walking to the console room instead, frowning when the Doctor wasn’t there. It was much too early for him to be in his room, and she hadn’t seen him at all when she was showing Jack around.

Was he hiding again?

She sighed. She’d been hoping to talk to him tonight. After that last dance, she’d been sure he’d come to bed when she was ready. If he was shutting down again, though, if he was somewhere he didn’t want to be found, she knew she wouldn’t be able to find him. Even the TARDIS wouldn’t help her look when he needed time alone.

Rose headed back to her room, much more slowly than she’d approached the console room. Maybe he’d been more upset than she’d realized. Maybe it had been a bad idea to go off on her own with Jack when she’d already suspected the Doctor might be jealous.

She wasn’t going to ignore their guest, though, just because it might upset the Doctor. It wasn’t like he’d even asked her not to do it.

She was still frowning when she opened her door, her eyes on the floor rather than on where she was going, and she gasped as strong, familiar hands wrapped around her waist. She saw a flash of blue eyes, heard the door shut as he pressed her against it, and then the Doctor’s lips were crashing down on hers.

His hands moved from her waist as his tongue plunged into her mouth. They caressed her sides, sending a shiver through her when they ran along her breasts, then slid along her arms, pulling them up over her head and against the door. Rose felt a rush of heat as he pinned her wrists to the hard surface, and her hips surged forward, pressing against his as she tried to keep up with his demanding kiss.

The Doctor pulled his mouth from hers, and she tried to catch her breath, only to inhale sharply as he sucked at the pulse point on her neck. He shifted so he could press a hard thigh between her legs, pushing her back against the door with a burst of friction against her clit.

Rose tilted her head back and moaned, and the Doctor took the opportunity to kiss his way down to her collarbone, pulling her shirt to one side with his free hand so he had better access to her shoulder. She writhed against his leg as he sucked the skin he’d exposed, hard enough that he’d probably leave a mark.

She fought a whimper when he pulled back, opening eyes she hadn’t realized she’d closed to find him watching her, his blue eyes dark, pupils wide.

“This alright?” His voice was low, rough, uneven, almost desperate, and Rose managed a nod. She felt him grow harder against her hip, even through their jeans, as his eyes darkened further. “Good.”

He returned his lips to hers until she was again breathless, and he pulled away again, pressing her wrists more firmly against the door for a second, fixing her with a heated stare until she nodded. He released her and slipped his hands under her shirt, pulling it upward and over her head.

When she moved to pull away from the wall, he raised his eyebrows, and she stopped. He pulled her shirt tight around her wrists, pulling the torso of the shirt through her arms and doing something else she couldn’t quite determine before pulling the makeshift tie upward and hooking it to a spot she couldn’t see.

His eyes dropped back to hers and she pulled lightly, experimentally at her restraint. It was tight enough that her arms would stay put as long as she didn’t try to get them out, but loose enough that she could escape if she actually wanted to. As he drank in the sight of her, shirtless and bound, Rose swallowed.

This wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind when she’d said she was taking the shirt out for a spin, but it might end up better than she’d imagined.

His hands almost methodical, clashing with the intensity of his gaze, the Doctor unclasped her bra and unhooked the straps, letting the fabric brush across her nipples as he removed it and let it fall to the floor beside them. He reached for the button on her jeans next, deftly undoing them and sliding the zipper downward, his stare pinning Rose in place.

He turned his attention to sliding her jeans down, knickers with them, kneeling as he pulled them off her legs, making sure she had her balance before sliding each foot free of first her shoes and socks, then the jeans. When he stood again, Rose’s breath was shaky, and the bulge in his trousers was visible.

She was completely naked, at his mercy, and he was still fully dressed, watching her.

“You’re beautiful, Rose.” The reverence in his voice wiped away any half-formed thoughts of insecurity, and she swallowed again. She could feel the dampness between her legs, knew he could smell her arousal, how much she wanted him, and she was getting impatient. His pace had been nearly frantic to begin with, and she’d been ready for this to go quickly, but now he was just staring.

“I want you, Doctor,” she tried, feeling a surge of triumph when the heat in his eyes flared. He slipped his jacket off, tossing it aside, jumper and vest top quickly following. Shirtless, he leaned forward, his mouth almost touching her ear when he spoke.

“You have me, Rose. I’m yours.” Without giving her a chance to respond, without meeting her eyes, he dropped his head down to her breast, fastening his mouth on one nipple. She gasped and gripped at the shirt that helped hold her up, moaning his name when he scraped his teeth lightly against the sensitive flesh before moving to the other side.

He slid his fingers to her hips, grasping firmly before releasing her nipple and dropping to his knees in front of her. He slid her feet a little further apart and then looked up at her, expression almost one of worship.

She watched, holding her breath in anticipation, as he adjusted his angle until his breath was sliding over her clit. Rose closed her eyes when he ran his tongue over her, lightly, too lightly. He repeated the action again, a little more firmly, and then again, and again, until Rose was panting, barely able to stand.

“Doctor, please.”

He took one hand from her hip, sliding two fingers inside her easily and curling them forward while simultaneously increasing the speed and pressure of his mouth and tongue against her clit.

It was all she needed to push her over the edge. She felt a stream of incoherency leaving her mouth as she tightened and exploded, as the Doctor carefully worked her down from her orgasm.

Her eyes were still closed when he pulled away, and by the time she was able to open them, he’d lost the rest of his clothing and was watching her, hungry and possessive. He stepped forward, his body almost touching hers, the cool tip of his erection resting against her stomach. He leaned his forehead against hers, running his hands along her body, starting at her wrists and working down to her hips.

He lifted her, plunging into her with one thrust before she could even wrap her legs around him.

“Oh God, yes.” Rose’s head tipped back before she pulled herself forward again to kiss him, digging her heels into him as he thrust into her, hard, fast, his pace almost punishing but quickly bringing her back to the edge. She tried to pull him closer as he started to lose his rhythm, as the cool pulse inside her sped further, as the pressure inside her increased to almost unbearable levels.

When she broke apart again, he followed seconds later, groaning against her neck. His thrusts slowed, not stopping until her orgasm had receded.

He pulled back, searching her face before kissing her gently, and Rose had a moment to wish her hands were free to hold him. After several long seconds, he lifted her off him and set her back down, kissing her once more.

He untied her and carried her to her bed, cleaning them both up before joining her, tucking his arm over her waist, his lips against her shoulder. Rose took a steadying breath, still trying to regain feeling in her extremities, before speaking.

“So, what was that for?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose have a needed discussion and come to an agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment, fave, kudo, reblog, and follow is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
> 
> Beta: GoingToTheTardis

_“So, what was that for?”_

Her question hung in the silence, growing heavier when he rolled onto his back without answering. Rose turned over so she could see him. His arms were crossed over his naked torso, and he stared up at the ceiling, face closed off.

“Doctor?”

“I’m sorry if that was too much.” His words came out in an exhalation of breath. Though his expression remained unchanged, she saw him clench and unclench his hand.

“It wasn’t too much.” Rose covered his hand with hers, pausing when he flinched, releasing a breath when he shifted his arm so he could lace their fingers together. “Wasn’t really _us_ though, yeah? Felt like you were upset or something.”

Silence fell again, but with his hand gripping hers and his eyes moving back and forth across the ceiling while he thought, Rose was willing to wait until he was ready to talk.

“I worry, Rose.” He sighed. “I worry about losing you. You could’ve died today. _Again_. And then to see you with that captain…” He said the title derisively, his jaw clenching. She waited, letting him continue. “There are so many ways I could lose you, Rose, and sometimes it’s impossible to forget that. You’ll leave me one day, one way or another, whether you want to or not, and I needed… I had to…”

Watching him swallow, watching him try to express his thoughts, Rose couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“I’m already yours, Doctor.” He turned his head toward her, finally, his blue eyes burning into hers, and she continued. “You’re not gonna lose me just because I spend time with someone else, just because I might make a friend who happens to be a bit pretty.” She maneuvered so she could switch hands, letting her lower hand hold his, using her newly freed hand to outline his ear, his nose, his jaw, running along them with a fingertip before cupping the side of his face. _This_ face, this was the one she wanted to see every night before she drifted off to sleep.

She’d thought she’d been fairly obvious about her feelings before, that he knew where she thought there relationship was, but if some harmless flirting was enough to throw him off balance, maybe he needed to hear it. “I can’t change the fact that I might die eventually, but until then, Doctor? You’re not getting rid of me.”

She opened her mouth again, ready to say the words that threatened to spill over, but she stopped. He was still watching her intently, waiting. It was hard for him, opening up like this, talking about the fact she would eventually die, and she didn’t want this tinge of sadness and jealousy the first time she put to words what they both knew.

She did, though, still have more that needed saying.

“Things are gonna happen, Doctor. One of us might get hurt, or one of us might get a bit jealous.” She remembered how he’d acted with Jabe on Platform one, knowing she’d had no right to be jealous at the time. How much worse would it have been if they’d been properly together? “But if we’re gonna do this right, we can’t… We can’t just _hide_ when that happens, and we can’t go all caveman and tie each other up for a shag just to prove what’s ours.”

She swallowed, having gotten a bit louder than she’d meant. Despite the fact that her limbs still felt a bit weak from their activities against the door, she felt a rush of heat at remembering just how thoroughly he’d taken her, at imagining their roles reversed and the Doctor at her mercy.

Judging by the smirk pulling at his lips, he could tell exactly what she was thinking. She blushed, then grinned, letting her tongue show in the way she knew drove him spare. “Doesn’t mean we can’t play like that again if we want.” She let her smile slip. “Just that it can’t be instead of talking if something’s wrong.”

He nodded and rolled toward her, and she let her hand slide from his face down to his chest.

“I’m guessing you got Jack settled before coming here?” The Doctor’s tone was light, and Rose blinked at the apparent subject change before realizing the Doctor was trying to do as she’d asked, trying to discuss what they needed to.

“Yeah. I think the TARDIS likes him. He’ll fit in with us, as long as you know he doesn’t mean anything by the flirting, and I don’t mean anything by it if I flirt back. That’s just how I am. If it meant anything, I’d stop.” Rose played memories in her mind again, how the Doctor acted with other women previously, how he acted even with the “flexible” Jack Harkness. “You do sort of the same thing sometimes.”

“He can stay.” His eyes sparkled as some of the tension between them lessened. “Though I might throw him out in the vortex if he ever actually tries anything.” Rose laughed, knowing he wasn’t serious and that Jack knew how things were, and the Doctor looped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, flush against evidence that he wanted her again, despite - or because of - their conversation.

Rose’s laugh trailed off into a moan, and the Doctor leaned forward to claim her lips.

This time was not a frantic coupling, nothing like their joining against the door. This time, their hands were joined as often as their lips. This time, they shared control as they showed their love in the most physical way Rose knew how.

Afterward, Rose’s head pillowed on the Doctor’s chest, his arm around her shoulders, the Doctor murmured into her hair.

“Move in with me.”

“Hmm?” Rose frowned, trying to decide what he meant. “I don’t really have anything left at Mum’s, nothing I really use, anyway. The TARDIS is already home.” She pushed away a stab of hurt at the thought that it might not have been her home in his mind.

“No, I meant…” He paused as she shifted so she could see his face. “Move in with _me_ , in my room. Only time I’m in there anymore is with you, anyway, and with Jack sharing the TARDIS with us, sharing a room would help. Means there’s a place that’s just for us. Means that if one of us gets protective or jealous, like you said, that we know it’s okay because that night, we’ll be sleeping in _our_ bed. Together.”

She nodded, a smile spreading across her face, mirrored on his, before she pressed a kiss to his lips. “That sounds lovely, Doctor.” Rose broke the moment with a yawn. “Maybe tomorrow, though? I’m knackered.”

“Tomorrow,” the Doctor agreed, pulling her close again, and Rose rested her head against his chest once more, letting the sound of his double heartbeats lull her to sleep.

~O~O~O~

“Good morning.” At the low rumble of the Doctor’s voice, Rose tightened her grip on his waist, then yawned before looking up at him. He grinned down at her, eyes bright. “Thought you were gonna sleep all day.”

Rose sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock on her nightstand. She screwed her face into a mock frown and turned to face the Doctor again. “It’s barely 6:00 in the morning.”

“I know. Time Lord, me. Remember?” He smirked before the smile softened. “If we’re moving your things to our room today, I wanted to make sure we have plenty of time. I mean, the TARDIS can move most of it, of course, but just in case.”

Rose smiled back at him. If the TARDIS was doing most of the moving, it wouldn’t take long at all. He’d been impatient, the Doctor, ready to take a step in their relationship that she hadn’t really even considered.

“Do I get breakfast first, at least?”

He grinned, his manic smile, before kissing her and getting out of bed. “I’ll handle making breakfast. You get ready, and decide what you do and don’t want the TARDIS to move.”

He donned his clothing quickly, and she watched him leave before rushing through her morning bathroom routine. She didn’t really need the time to decide what to bring with her; she’d want her clothes and the things she kept in her nightstand, and she’d want the few pictures hanging about, but she didn’t have need for things like her bedsheets.

She did, however, want the time while he was occupied to work on something else. She grabbed the door hanger from the outside of her doorknob and studied it before grabbing the few art supplies she kept in her drawer. She made some changes, then put it back in the drawer along with the markers, sending the TARDIS a silent request to keep that hidden when she moved her things. She felt the ship agree, and Rose grinned.

Not wanting to let the TARDIS do all the work of moving, she gathered her photographs - of herself and Jackie, of the Doctor, one of Mickey and the Doctor both frowning at the camera - and took them with her to see whether the Doctor was finished making breakfast.

“Morning, Rosie,” Jack greeted her from the table. Behind him, the Doctor was transferring breakfast from the stovetop to three plates.

Rose set the pictures on the table. “Morning, Jack.” Her hands free, she joined the Doctor, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. “Morning again, Doctor.”

“All set?” he asked, twisting to look over his shoulder at her.

“Yeah. The TARDIS knows what to move.”

He grinned, and she loosened her grip so he could turn toward her. “Fantastic.” He kissed her forehead, sparing a glance for Jack, then took two of the plates while Rose took the third. After they’d sat, the Doctor got a look of concentration, then nodded. “All done.”

Rose laughed. “That was all it was gonna take? And you wanted me up early for that?” She covered his hand with hers, ignoring the wide grin she could see on Jack’s face.

“Problem?” The Doctor raised his eyebrows slightly, and she shook her head.

“No.” Turning her attention to Jack after taking another bite, Rose asked, “Sleep okay?”

“Probably better than the two of you.” He laughed when Rose rolled her eyes. “Seriously, though, I slept alright. We got anything planned today? I mean, besides the two of you being adorable.”

“I just need to stop by our room for a minute, but I don’t have anything else planned.” She toyed with an earring as she spoke, smiling at the Doctor, who’d squeezed her hand when she’d said “our room.” “Doctor? Any plans for the day?”

“I need to stop by our room, too,” he said, ignoring Jack’s snort, “and then I thought we could find somewhere to land.”

“What sort of places do you usually go?” Jack looked between them.

“Anywhere,” Rose answered. “Anywhere, anywhen. Wasn’t too long ago we got stuck in this, um, this immersion, this thing in the future that looked like it was from my past.”

“Ah. I’m familiar with those. How’d that go for ya?”

Rose filled him in on the highlights of that trip - not the details pertaining to their relationship - and the Doctor joined in once or twice. By the time they were finished, breakfast was gone.

“We’ll meet you in the console room in twenty minutes,” the Doctor told Jack.

“Aye aye.” Jack went one way down the corridor, while Rose and the Doctor walked the other way, their hands linked between them. When they reached his - _their_ \- room, the Doctor opened the door, then gestured.

“After you.”

The changes were subtle, for the most part, the room fitting her things with his seamlessly. There was now a vanity for Rose next to a sitting table that had been there before. The comforter had changed from black to a darker shade of the TARDIS’s blue. Her clothes were in the wardrobe next to his. She took the pictures in her hand and hung them near her vanity, feeling the Doctor’s eyes on her from next to the door.

“Almost perfect,” she said, looking around the room, her hands on her hips.

“Almost?” The Doctor walked in and sat on the bed while Rose retrieved her last piece of decor, the one the TARDIS had transferred to the nightstand on her side of the bed.

She walked back to the door, opening it and hanging the colored declaration on the knob.

“There. Now it’s perfect.”

The Doctor got up again and joined her, wrapping his arms around her as they both looked down at the almost child-like decoration that would let anyone who saw it know that this room belonged to the Doctor and Rose Tyler.

He leaned forward so that he was speaking near her ear, his arms still tight around her. “Welcome home, Rose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my update schedule has been erratic, but I've most definitely not forgotten about the fic ;) It's hard to find time when I'm awake enough to write well and don't have other obligations, but the two week break between this chapter and last should be the longest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose visit Woman Wept, and the Doctor shares some information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angst in this chapter.
> 
> Beta: @goingtothetardis

“I’ve an idea of where we can go,” the Doctor said, taking his arms from around Rose. When she turned to face him, he grinned down at her, eyes crinkling. “You’ll want to change into something a bit warmer, though.”

“Alright, sure.” She watched him walk toward the console room, and she grinned at his back before moving to the wardrobe. 

The Doctor didn’t have many clothes hanging there, so it was mostly just hers. She ran a hand along one of his jumpers before seeing what the TARDIS had supplied in the way of warm clothing. She pulled out a colorful scarf, wonderfully soft to the touch, a long-sleeved shirt, and a hoodie. After the TARDIS hummed at her, she grabbed a pair of gloves that hadn’t been there a few minutes earlier.

By the time she got to the console room, she was already getting hot. Jack was standing next to the Doctor, and she could hear the teasing cadence of the captain’s voice before she could make out the words.

“... and let me tell you, it was totally worth it. Oh, hey, Rosie.”

“Hi, Jack. What was worth it?”

The Doctor shook his head, and Jack grinned at Rose.

“This place the Doctor’s taking you? I had a pretty memorable date there once. I mean, if you can call it a date, considering we both knew exactly what we were there for and didn’t much more than glance at the scenery. But man, he was pretty. Flexible, too.”

Rose laughed before registering Jack’s initial words. “The place he’s taking  _ me _ ? You’re not coming?”

“As much as I’d love to  _ come _ with the two of you,” Jack smirked, ignoring the Doctor’s half-hearted glare, “this planet’s actually pretty gorgeous, so when the Doctor mentioned you’d never seen it, I said I’d let you two have this one alone. I’ll join you at the next stop.”

“You’re sure?” Rose asked.

“Positive. Besides, I wouldn’t mind a bit more time to explore in here.”

“Alright, then.” Rose shrugged, resisting the urge to tug at her scarf.

“You two enjoy,” Jack said, winking as he turned and left the room.

“Where are we, Doctor?”

He turned from the console and grinned, holding out a hand. “You’ll see. Come on.”

When he led her through the doors, Rose’s first response was a sigh of pleasure as the air cooled her heated cheeks. After she’d had a moment to look around, she gasped.

“Doctor, are those waves?”

“Sure are.” He closed the doors behind them. “We’re on Woman Wept. Middle of the night. Local time, of course. It’s the best time to visit.”

The moon was bright in the sky, and the stars glittered in the darkness. Between them, they provided enough light to see that the TARDIS had landed on a long, narrow beach. The water, though, rather than lapping at the shore, was completely frozen, and there were waves reaching up toward the sky, immobile, almost glowing in the natural light.

The Doctor filled the silence, his voice calm as they walked toward the water. “The planet has a single continent, massive, and it’s shaped like a woman lamenting, hence the name. The star became unstable, and there were violent, neverending storms. Washed away any trace of buildings near the water, especially. The inhabitants had all evacuated the planet before this last bit happened and all the water on the planet froze in an instant, waves and all.”

Rose hesitated before they stepped onto the water, but it was frozen through. They walked nearer to the closest wave, which seemed to grow taller as they approached it, until finally they were looking straight up at the wave of ice cresting above them.

“They’ll be like this forever,” the Doctor said in the same voice he’d used before, shifting so he was standing behind Rose, his arms wrapped around her. “We could come back in a hundred years, a thousand, and they’d still look just the same.”

“Kind of like you, then?”

Behind her, the Doctor tensed. “How do you mean?”

Rose felt her brow furrow as she thought. “Well, I saw those pictures after we first met, and in all those places, you looked just like you do now, yeah? And you’re 900 years old, you said. So I guess I just thought you always looked like this, or that, you know, you just age really, really slowly.” She swallowed. “Too slow for me to have a chance to see it.”

“Rose.” She could hear the pain, the hesitation in the single word, could feel him still tense behind her. “I’m not… You’re right, my aging process, it’s too slow for you to see, as long as we stay together.” It was Rose’s turn to tense, but the Doctor continued before she could protest. “And don’t say you’re not leaving. There’s so much I haven’t told you. So much I can’t.”

“There’s nothing you can tell me that’s gonna make me leave you, Doctor.”

“What if I said part of the reason I don’t age is that I change?” The words could have been a challenge, but his voice was dripping with self-loathing that she’d heard less and less frequently since they’d met. He’d stopped trying to push her away, she thought, but she could almost hear him again, his words after the first time he’d explained who he was.

_ Forget me, Rose Tyler _ . 

His arms were tight around her, his body rejecting the idea that she might listen to any of his warnings. “I still don’t care,” Rose told him, making an effort to keep her voice steady. He remained still behind her, waiting, until she continued. “What do you mean, you change?”

“Time Lords, we have this way of cheating death.” His voice was strained. “If there’s something that would kill us, we regenerate instead. It’s sort of like being reborn: new face, new body, new personality. I keep my memories, but I’m a new person.”

Rose pulled away so she could turn and face him; he dropped his grip immediately, as if he’d expected it. She looked up at him, at his guarded expression.

“A new person? You mean if something happens, you might not even be  _ you _ anymore?”

He crossed his arms. “I’ll still be myself, Rose, just… Different.”

She looked down at the frozen water below their feet. “So, you’re telling me that you could turn into a completely different person. You’ll still be you, but you won’t just look different. You spend so much time being afraid I’m gonna change my mind, and meanwhile you’re gonna change into a new person. What’s to keep you from changing into someone who doesn’t care whether I’ll stay with you or not?”

“That’ll never happen, Rose.” She looked up, meeting his eyes again. “I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, for one thing. And for another, what I feel about you, that won’t change no matter who I am. I’ll be yours, as long as you’ll have me.”

“If you can be so sure of that, Doctor, if you can be sure you’ll feel the same for me even if you’re a completely different person, why’s it so hard to believe I’m not leaving you, no matter what?” She knew she’d raised her voice, but she didn’t care. “You’re not gonna scare me off. There’s nothing you can tell me about that’s gonna change my mind. What do I have to do before you believe me, Doctor? I thought we were okay, I thought we were  _ good _ . I just moved into your room because we agreed we were  _ together _ , and now it feels like you’re trying to push me away again.”

He looked down at her, his eyes reflecting the sparkle of moonlight off the frozen waves, expression giving no hint of the emotions underneath. Rose was still trying to steady her breath, the cold air almost painful in her lungs despite the heat her anger lent her, when the Doctor reached out, tangling his fingers in her hair, his thumb against her cheek, and crashed his lips to hers.

The kiss started out heated and frantic, a reminder that they belonged to one another, before slowing, becoming something more tender, and when it finally stopped, he rested his forehead against hers. 

“I’m sorry, Rose. There’s still more I need to tell you, eventually, and I should’ve told you about regenerating, well before now. I’m trying, though, Rose. I told you I don’t do domestics. I might’ve been wrong about that, at least to an extent, but that doesn’t mean it always comes easy.”

She closed her eyes. As they had the other night, the words begged to be released, shared, returned.

_ I love you, Doctor _ .

As with the other night, though, it seemed again not to be the right time, not with them both already nearly overwhelmed by revelations and domesticity, so she settled for pressing her lips against his once more.

~O~O~O~

They returned to the TARDIS not long after, when Rose started to shiver despite their activities.

“I’m gonna go take a warm bath,” Rose announced, rubbing her arms. 

The Doctor nodded. “I’ve got some things I need to do around the TARDIS, anyway.”

“Okay.” She kissed him on the cheek before heading toward their room. How could he seem somehow both sadder and lighter than he’d been before they talked? It was like he knew he’d needed to tell her, but he hadn’t wanted to.

She undressed and sank into the TARDIS-prepared warm bath, letting out a sigh before her thoughts returned to the Doctor and what he’d told her. 

She was glad he’d told her, really; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have the man she loved change into someone else entirely, let alone without having had any clue it could happen. Still, though, she didn’t like thinking about it, or about the circumstances that might cause it to happen.

And he still had more to tell her. She knew there were things he regretted from his past, but they’d made him into the man he was, her Doctor, so how could she regret them, other than the pain those actions had caused him?

~O~O~O~

The Doctor wasn’t in the console room when Rose finished her bath, extremities warm again, but she wasn’t particularly surprised. Their exchange had been emotional, and he usually dealt with that best by taking some time alone afterward. She wished there were a way for him to just get everything out at once so that he didn’t have to hide after almost every talk.

She grabbed a couple snacks and made her way to the media room, where she saw Jack already comfortable in the recliner.

“Hey, Rosie. How was your date?”

Rose plopped herself down on the sofa near his recliner and sighed.

“Uh-oh.” Jack reached for the remote and paused whatever he’d been watching on the television. “That good, huh?”

“Yes. No. I don’t…” Rose gestured aimlessly, not sure how much she could share without betraying the Doctor’s confidence. “It was gorgeous, like you said. I just… How much do you know about Time Lords?”

Jack looked at her speculatively. “Not a lot. They look human. They’ve got time travel, which is kind of a given with a name like that, but obviously, some humans can do that, too. There are rumors that they’re touch telepaths. And they were involved in the Time War. That’s about it.”

“Well, I don’t know a lot more.” Rose opened a bag of crisps, offering some to Jack before taking a handful for herself. “And it seems like it’s too painful for him to talk about, so I don’t like asking, but I can’t stand not knowing.”

“So either way, one of you is hurt.” Jack studied her, then stood decisively. “Come on. I know it’s early, but I also know I saw some hypervodka somewhere around here, and it seems like you could use it. I haven’t properly mourned my ship’s passing yet, either, and I could use a drinking buddy.”

A few minutes later, they’d gathered supplies--drinks, glasses, water, and more munchies--and settled back on their respective chairs, a 27th century comedy playing in the background as they downed their first drinks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Jack share a drink before the Doctor joins them. The Doctor and Rose share certain confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, _all_ of the apologies for the horrendous delay. I don’t, unfortunately, have access to a Tardis, and life completely carried me away. I finally have nothing else really on my plate, have my health issues mostly under control, and have a couple more weeks with my daughter in a summer program.
> 
> I do want to play with some tropes in this story, too, as I did in Western Immersion. This particular chapter deals with drunken confessions and overhearing things while the other people think you’re asleep.
> 
> The ever-awesome GoingtotheTardis as beta <3

After the first couple shots, the hypervodka went down easily. Jack was quick to agree to a few rounds of Never Have I Ever, but Rose suggested a change when he was doing all the drinking.

She did, at least, have to drink to, “Never have I ever shagged a Time Lord rotten.”

Next was a game Jack showed her. They filled a bunch of shot glasses, some with water and some with the clear, potent alcohol. They mixed up all the glasses and set them on top of playing cards, then rolled dice—Rose didn’t ask where Jack had gotten them—and drank the shot on the corresponding card. She had all the luck in this one, or she had none of the luck, depending on how she looked at it; she got almost every alcoholic glass they’d poured.

After several rounds of Truth or Dare, she’d had too much to drink to bother reaching for more. Instead, she and Jack just talked. She heard more about his past as a Time Agent—what he could remember of it, at any rate—and he heard about her mum and about Mickey before she finally gave in and started talking about the Doctor, ignoring her increasingly frequent yawns.

“It’s jus’ that the day was so good,” Rose slurred. “We’re sharin’ a room now. Did you know we weren’t, not officially, until today? That’s what all that was about this morning. And then Women Wept was bloody gorgeous, and the Doctor told me something I know was hard for him—don’t you dare make a joke like I see you want to—and now I don’t even know where he’s at.”

“I’m right here, Rose.” At the Doctor’s voice, she spun to face the door, beaming when she saw him leaning against the entryway.

“Doctor!” She reached out a hand, and he joined her almost immediately, taking her hand and sitting close to her on the sofa. “Missed you.”

He didn’t respond, but he turned his head to kiss her temple, and she sighed, content.

“Where’ve you been?” asked Jack. He sounded entirely sober, the git.

“About.” At the Doctor’s vague answer, Rose shifted, leaning against him and making herself comfortable. He slung an arm over her shoulder.

“‘m glad you’re here now,” she mumbled against his chest, and the Doctor’s arms tightened around her. She closed her eyes as the Doctor and Jack started talking about maintaining the TARDIS. After a few minutes, she started drifting in and out of sleep as he and Jack conversed.

_“She doesn’t drink often.”_

_“Yeah, I could tell. Don’t worry, Doc. I kept an eye on her and made sure she drank enough water. She’s a big girl, though, and she needed this.”_

_“I know. She’s too good for me.”_

_“Hey, you’re gonna hurt both of you if you keep thinking like that. She’s brings out that protective instinct, I know, but beating yourself up is just gonna make things worse...”_

_“...Did she tell you what we talked about today? I...”_

_“...Like I said earlier, Doc, she’s a big girl…”_

_“...Right, because you’d let that stop you.”_

_“Exactly.”_

The Doctor’s laugh roused Rose more effectively than their conversation had, his laughter rumbling against her ear. She opened her eyes, slowly registering that the bit of tension he’d been maintaining around Jack had left his body. She grinned sleepily up at the Doctor.

“Hello,” he said cheerfully, and she felt her smile grow.

“Hello,” she returned.

“Well, I should get to bed, I think.” Jack stood as he spoke, and Rose turned her attention to him with some difficulty; she wasn’t as far gone as she had been before her impromptu nap, but she was now fighting the pull of sleep. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Rose said, making some sort of attempt at an American salute. Was he really American, though, or did he just talk like it?

Jack smirked. “Goodnight, Rosie, Doctor.”

“Goodnight, Jack,” the Doctor answered, and even through her fog, Rose could hear that any trace of antagonism was gone. Whatever had happened while she was asleep, it had helped further a friendship between the two of them.

The thought had her grinning up at the Doctor once more, and he looked down at her after Jack left. His eyes sparkled, and a smile played at his lips. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You like Jack.” She giggled. “He’s good at girl talk.”

The Doctor huffed, visibly trying to squash his smile. “Girl talk. Why would I want to do that?”

“I heard you talking with him.” She frowned, trying to remember what she’d heard, but nothing specific came to mind. “Least I think I did. Suppose I could’ve been dreaming.”

“Let’s get you to bed, Rose.”

“Okay.” The Doctor helped her off the sofa, and she clung to his arm as they walked down the hallway. At the bedroom door, she stopped him. “Doctor, it’s our room. It’s _ours._ Just for us.”

He smiled at her excitement. “So it is. C’mere.” He pulled her into a hug, and they stood there for a few moments before finally going into the bedroom.

 _Their_ bedroom.

Rose sprawled out on the bed while the Doctor disappeared into the en suite. He returned a minute later and handed her a pill and a glass of water.

“Here, take this,” he said, handing it to her. “Keep you from feeling a mess tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Rose downed both medicine and water, setting the glass on her bedside table before burrowing under the covers. She yawned, eyes already closed. “We can christen the new bedroom again tomorrow, yeah? I’m knackered.”

She felt the Doctor take her hand. “That’s fine, Rose.” He sounded more than a little amused, and she smiled before she felt sleep tugging at her once more.

“I’m gonna sleep now. I love you, Doctor, so much, no matter what you look like.”

~O~O~O~

When Rose woke the next morning, the Doctor was still in bed with her, and he was actually asleep. She took a moment to watch him, studying his face.

His face that she, apparently, couldn’t take for granted.

She hadn’t fully processed it, not really. Was that something that anyone _could_ really process? He might turn into an entirely different person. She needed to ask him more about what that meant, exactly. How much of the change was physical? How much was mental? How could he be so sure he’d still love her? The whole thing made it a little easier to remember her Doctor was alien.

She loved him anyway, though, no matter--

Oh god. She’d told him last night, hadn’t she?

But he was still here. He was still here, and he was even relaxed enough to be still asleep. Either he hadn’t heard her - unlikely with the superior hearing he liked to brag about - or her declaration hadn’t bothered him.

She knew he was aware of it. There was no way he wouldn’t be, right? But still, she’d been so afraid to scare him off by telling him, and now…

He was still here. He hadn’t run off, hadn’t found a place to hide again or something on the ship needing tinkering.

“I can almost hear you thinking,” the Doctor mumbled, opening his eyes slowly and turning to face her. “You alright?”

“I’m fine.” She paused, taking a breath. “I love you, Doctor.” Before he could respond, she continued in a rush, nearly tripping over her words. “I didn’t mean to tell you that last night. I meant it of course, but I wanted it to be special, you know, the first time I told you. I didn’t mean to say it when I was pissed, and then I fell asleep so I couldn’t even--”

“Rose.” The Doctor’s voice was calm as he interrupted her. His eyes were warm, that look he got sometimes when he thought she wasn’t looking, that look she’d seen more openly only occasionally even since their relationship had changed. “I love you, too.”

Rose inhaled sharply. She hadn’t expected him to say it back, not right away. Maybe not even at all. She hadn’t thought she needed the words, not when he so clearly already felt them, but hearing it…

She surged forward, pressing her lips to his. His arm went around her immediately, pulling her closer, pulling her flush against him, and together, they celebrated the words, the shared room, and each other.

~O~O~O~

Rose couldn’t quite bring herself to stop grinning after they finally got out of bed. She had a brief moment of seriousness—after hearing where they were landing, she called Mickey, using her passport as an excuse, knowing she couldn’t put off talking to him any longer—but otherwise, she was almost giddy.

Everything felt good, felt _right._ Things between her and the Doctor, things between them and their new shipmate…

It was good, all of it.

The Doctor cooked breakfast for all three of them, and Jack walked into the kitchen right when they’d sat down.

“Morning.” He grinned at them and took his seat. “Thanks, Doc,” he added, gesturing to the plate in front of him.

“Don’t mention it,” the Doctor responded, voice gruff but a smile on his face.

Jack’s lids lowered in pleasure at his first bite. “Mmm. Okay, I won’t.”

“How are you feeling this morning?” asked Rose. “You had a lot more than I did.” She screwed up her face into a mock glare. “Not that it seemed to affect you any.”

Jack chuckled. “I’ve had a lot of practice with hypervodka, believe me. Built up a bit of a tolerance. I’m feeling fine.” He looked between her and the Doctor. “So, what are we doing today? Another date spot?”

“Nah,” the Doctor answered.

Rose took over. “We’re landing in Cardiff. There’s a rift there, see, and the TARDIS can use it to refuel.” She and the Doctor went on to explain their first visit to Cardiff together, and Jack listened with interest.

“When are we landing?” he asked when they were through.

“We’ve already landed,” said the Doctor, “but we’re waiting on her old boyfriend.” He pointed a fork at Rose, and she rolled her eyes.

“Try and be nice to him, will you, Doctor? I called him here to break things off more officially. Don’t need to rub it in.”

Jack had already heard all about Mickey last night, thanks to the hypervodka, and Rose didn’t have to explain their muddled, former relationship again. Breakfast done, the trio headed to the console room, Rose in the lead. She pretended not to hear Jack mutter an aside to the Doctor as they left the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, Doc. I’ll give this Mickey a hard time for you.”

She rolled her eyes, but she grinned anyway. She’d have to be nicer to Mickey to make up for their behavior, she was sure. Still, despite the potential discomfort in the upcoming conversation, she couldn’t quite shake her giddy contentment.

And she didn’t really want to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events through and just after Boom Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enough changed in this opening scene that I wanted to address it rather than skimming over it. Any dialogue you recognize is pulled from Boom Town.
> 
> Thank you so much, Goingtothetardis, for your help!

Rose gave the Doctor a look as she left with Mickey, trying to let him know why she was going off with her ex, and the Doctor gave her a tiny nod of acknowledgement. He didn’t look thrilled - though part of that might just be the situation with the Slitheen - but he did look like he was okay with it.

It didn’t take her long before she moved the conversation from the awkwardness in the TARDIS to the reason she’d called him.

“I didn’t really need my passport,” she started, pausing when Mickey seemed to take that as more than she’d meant by it. She jerked her head to the side, indicating they should move away from the TARDIS. She knew the Doctor might be watching, and she didn’t really want Mickey to have to deal with that thought, not if he didn’t take it well.

“I’ve been thinking, you know,” he said as they started walking, “we could go have a drink. Have a pizza or something, just you and me.”

“That’d be nice,” she mumbled. She was suddenly irrationally nervous about this whole conversation. It was a formality, just a statement of something they both already knew, so why was she thinking a bit of alcohol might make it easier for them both?

He clumsily offered a night together in a hotel, and while Rose was sorting through the fact that maybe this _wasn’t_ just a formality, maybe she _was_ about to break up with him, he asked whether they should tell the Doctor they were leaving.

Rose shook her head. “He already knows.” She thought about the day before, about her admission, about the Doctor’s in return. Almost automatically, she started telling Mickey about Women Wept. The planet had been gorgeous, and maybe she could use it to segue into the conversation she needed to have.

She saw Mickey’s eyes glaze over, and she was struck by how different they were in this moment. Even if she weren’t in love with the Doctor, this whole life, traveling, making things _better…_ How could anyone _not_ be excited by it?

She took a breath, and then the words came out in a rush:

“Me and the Doctor are together, like properly together, and I wanted you to hear it from me.”

“I’m going out with Trisha Delaney,” Mickey said at the same time.

“Wait, what?” they said simultaneously. Rose laughed, and after a few seconds, Mickey grinned.

“Look at us,” Rose said, bumping her hand against his shoulder. “We were always better as friends, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Mickey mumbled, looking down at his feet before he looked back at Rose. “So, you and the Doctor, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

The quiet shifted from companionable to awkward, and Mickey sighed. “Look, it’s not like I can really be upset. I knew it was comin’, the way the two of you act together, and I mean, I wasn’t exactly faithful, if we was still together. Still, though, think I’m gonna go off on my own for now, if that’s alright with you.”

“That’s fine, yeah.” Rose smiled at him, a little sadly. “I’m gonna get back to the TARDIS, then.”

“See you later.” He gave a small wave and turned and walked away.

~O~O~O~

It wasn’t so much delivering Blon to the people wanting her dead that stuck with Rose. Instead, what was keeping her awake that night was remembering the pull she’d felt from the Heart of the TARDIS. The TARDIS’s _soul._

Despite knowing she needed to stay back from the golden glow, she’d wanted to step forward, to look at it properly and see what Blon saw. There’d been a sort of whispering in the back of her mind, almost musical, but she’d pushed it away. Now, though, she could feel it again, that pull toward… something.

It was almost that same feeling as when there’s something that’s been forgotten, only there’s no way to remember what it was. After trying to fall asleep for far too long, Rose sighed and got out of bed. She found the Doctor and Jack still working on TARDIS repairs in the console room.

“Hey, Rosie,” Jack greeted as she walked in.

“Rose.” The Doctor came over to her, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “We’re just about finished in here. Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” she answered. “Just couldn’t fall asleep is all.”

“Want some help?” The Doctor’s voice was laced with suggestion, and Rose laughed despite the immediate thrill of heat running through her. She heard Jack chuckling along.

“Maybe in a bit. I’m…” She debated whether to tell him what, exactly, was on her mind. He’d worry, though, she was sure, and besides, the whispering had faded. “I’d rather be out here with you two for a while.”

Despite her attempts at avoiding his concern, she saw his brow furrow before he pasted on a grin and nodded.

“Of course. Stand there,” the Doctor said, gesturing at a portion of the console across from Jack, “and push those buttons when I say.”

Rose took her place, grinning at the Doctor when he scooted back under the console. She lifted her hand and stroked the edge of the console fondly, remembering again that pull, and felt…

She wasn’t sure. There was something, though, and it came from the TARDIS, and it told her everything would be okay. With that reassurance, she pushed any potential worry away and focused on her task.

At least, she focused on her task until Jack leaned over so he could see her better and started making faces at her, raising his eyebrows suggestively until she giggled.

“Stop it,” the Doctor muttered distractedly. “Okay, Rose, press the little button in the center there.”

She put her finger on the button and grinned expectantly at Jack as he leaned over again. “That’s what _she_ said.”

Rose managed to roll her eyes before she lost her composure, covering her mouth with her free hand and putting the rest of her effort toward not letting go of the button as she shook with laughter. Jack looked smug, a satisfied smile on his face as he turned to watch the Doctor get out from under the console and stand, leveling them both with a mock glare.

“You can let go now, Rose,” the Doctor said.

She had to laugh again at the expression on his face, especially when she saw his lips twitch with hidden amusement, and she didn’t feel like she was any closer to sleep, but she didn’t really care.

Because this? The three of them, on the TARDIS, it was perfect, and she wouldn’t change it for anything.

She took a few steps over to the Doctor, wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face against his chest until she could stop laughing. She was still smiling when she looked up at him, and he was watching her with a soft smile of his own, warmth in his eyes, and there was nothing on Earth or any other planet that could’ve stopped her from kissing him in that moment.

Not that she exactly _tried_ not to kiss him. The errant thought reminded her, though: “Where we headed after we drop off the egg?”

She couldn’t really think of it as Blon. It was an _egg._

“I’ve got an idea,” Jack volunteered, “if we don’t have anything planned yet.”

“What were you thinking?” the Doctor asked. Rose turned in his arms so she could lean against his chest and still see Jack, who’d sprawled out on the jump seat.

“Well, Woman Wept got me thinking. There’s this place I visited once, Ck’larkktik. Heard of it?”

“Course I have,” the Doctor answered. “Cross between a ski lodge and a pleasure planet.”

“Exactly.” Jack beamed at them. “Figured maybe we can hit the slopes together, then split up. They’ve got stuff for couples and singles, so nobody’s gonna feel left out, and if I recall, it’s not too racy a planet, despite the fact they don’t exactly have public decency laws.” He crossed his arms, and Rose saw a flash of insecurity before she looked up at the Doctor.

“That sounds good, yeah?” She watched him, saw the skepticism fade from his expression to be replaced with resignation.

“Suppose we can make that work, yeah,” the Doctor said. “Let’s get our passenger back where she belongs, first, and maybe get the humans some sleep.” He gently pulled away, trailing a hand along her arm before moving to the console.

“Speaking of getting things back where they belong,” Jack said, looking at Rose, “you have that conversation you needed to with Mickey Mouse?”

“Yeah,” Rose said. “It went alright. He’s seein’ someone else, too, so that helped. He messaged me after the whole thing with Blon, said he was alright and he’d see us later.” She smirked. “Said to tell the captain of the innuendo squad he’d better behave.”

“Fat chance.”

The TARDIS shook at their landing, and Rose finally felt the wave of exhaustion she’d been expecting for hours now. The Doctor noticed and came to put his hands on her shoulders. “Go to sleep, Rose. Jack and I can handle this. Probably don’t even need Jack’s help.”

“You sure?” Rose asked with a yawn.

“I’m sure. We’re just gonna set her down in a safe space and go. I’ll come to bed soon as we’re done.”

“‘Kay.” She smiled as the Doctor kissed her forehead, and she gave Jack a sleepy wave before heading back to the bedroom. She crawled under the covers and looked up at the ceiling, not really seeing it in the dim glow of the nightlight.

It had been an eventful day. Not that the world almost ending was really all that noteworthy anymore… It would be if it actually happened, of course, but it seemed like they were always saving things at the last minute, and she knew the Doctor had been doing it on his own for a long time.

The rest of it, though, had been emotional highs and lows, from the giddiness in the console room to the worry over talking with Mickey, and she could finally feel it affecting her.

Maybe that’s why the TARDIS hadn’t wanted her worrying about the whispering in the back of her mind. It was probably just stress or exhaustion or something, and despite her initial reservations about the TARDIS entering her mind when she first started traveling with the Doctor, she knew now that the ship would never hurt her, would never abuse that power unless necessary.

Rose wasn’t exactly sure _how_ she knew—the impression in the console room was probably the closest thing she’d have had to a conversation with the time ship—but she was still certain of it. She closed her eyes, curling up and shifting to her side. The bed was perfect, just like everything else in the room, and she fell asleep quickly.

She barely stirred when the Doctor came in a little later, waking only enough to recognize the feel of his arm around her waist and his chest against her back before she smiled and drifted back off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose, Jack, and the Doctor have fun on a ski planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this fic a year ago, and I’d love to say I’ll definitely keep the chapters rolling from here out, but it’s entirely possible it’ll be months before the next update again, and I apologize profusely for that. However, it’ll never be abandoned.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me! You’re amazing.
> 
> Beta: Goingtothetardis as usual, with special guest star Scullywolf. You ladies are the best <3

The slippery surface on Ck'larkktik's ski slopes wasn't exactly what Rose would call snow. For one thing, it was pink. It was also much more slippery than she expected, more like ice than snow, but the flakes still slid easily through her fingers when she reached down to pick some up.

“It’s so soft,” she murmured.

“Snow’s the whole reason this place is inhabited,” the Doctor explained, standing close behind her. “Wasn't anyone here until a ship accidentally landed, oh, about three centuries ago. One of the passengers decided the unique properties of the snow would make for a perfect ski resort.”

“It's slippery enough to get up some great speed,” Jack said, coming up next to them, “but soft enough that it doesn't really hurt if you fall. Just don't run into any trees.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, wouldn’t’ve figured that one out, ta.” Rose turned to grin at Jack, who looked entirely unrepentant.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied with a smirk.

The trio set off toward a ski lodge on the outskirts of the little town. They carried their own gear, lightweight, collapsable equipment the TARDIS had provided for them. “They adjust to the perfect size,” the Doctor had said, “and then we don’t need to worry about rentals.”

The lifts, when they reached them, were small, and the three of them barely fit in a seat together. Jack ended up in the middle somehow, and he grinned contentedly as they gained altitude, slinging an arm over each of their shoulders. Rose leaned into him with a laugh, enjoying the friendly embrace.

“You ever been skiing, Rose?” Jack asked, and Rose saw the Doctor watching her from the far end of the seat, head tilted slightly.

“Not often,” she answered. “Never on snow that’s pink, before.”

“You’ll love it,” Jack said. “Never wanna ski on normal snow again.”

***

Jack might’ve been right, Rose decided as she came to a giggling stop at the bottom of the first hill. The snow was made for speed, and even the relatively gentle slope of the beginners’ hill was enough that the trees off to the side had started to blur before she reached bottom. It was unfortunate, she thought, that they’d have to spend so long on the lift before heading down again.

The Doctor slid to a stop next to her, returning her smile and reaching for her hand for the short trek back to the lift, where Jack was already waiting. They went down the beginner slopes only a few more times before Rose demanded they try some of the challenging ones.

As she looked down from the top of the first steep hill several minutes later, at the wide curves that Rose knew would feel a lot narrower at full speed, she had a moment of doubt. For just a second, she considered going back to the smaller slopes. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders.

She was Rose Tyler. She regularly handled hostile aliens, accidental mischief, a rogue time agent, and a Time Lord. A ski slope wasn’t even remotely a challenge.

She didn’t look at either Jack or the Doctor as she nodded to herself, dug in her poles, and leaned forward. Rose picked up speed immediately, passing her earlier top speeds before reaching the first turn. She made it through easily, staying exactly where she wanted, and she laughed, triumphant, before leaning forward even further. She went through another turn, then another, her confidence increasing along with the wind that whipped through her hair. By the time she came to a small jump that she could either take or avoid, she didn’t have any doubt left.

She flew. There was no other way to describe it. In the air, she was free in a way she never knew she’d wanted, needed, craved. Seconds lasted hours, and she landed with just the slightest bump, the soft snow catching her and sending her on her way again almost seamlessly.

At the bottom of the hill, she turned and watched the Doctor and Jack finish their descents, waiting only a couple seconds for them to catch their breath before asking, “Ready to go again?”

***

“Alright,” Jack said finally, as they came to a stop at the bottom of another hill some time later, “I’m gonna split. There’s a singles’ hot springs across town calling my name. See you tomorrow back at the TARDIS?”

“See you then,” the Doctor answered with a nod. He and Rose started back toward the lift as Jack headed toward the city.

“Not sure if he gets enough time to do his own thing,” Rose said as they walked. “Maybe we should make more of these kinds of stops.”

“Could do,” the Doctor answered. “He likes helping us, too, though, else he’d have gone his own way by now.”

Rose hummed her agreement and adjusted her gloves. “Let’s do one more, then get something hot to drink,” she suggested, feeling the cold burn on her cheeks and knowing she’d be freezing once the exertion wore off.

It was possible, she decided as she reached the bottom of the slope for the final time that day, that she should’ve called it when Jack left. Before the adrenaline rush even wore off, she was shivering. The Doctor gave her a quick, assessing look before wrapping an arm around her, awkward at best as they trudged toward the nearest lodge on their skis.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you warmed up.”

Rose leaned into his side, wishing for once that he ran a little warmer, but otherwise utterly content, despite the cold and the uneven gait. They took off their skis at the door, and Rose scanned the large room, noting that all the seats near the fireplace were taken. She shivered again before turning to the Doctor and raising an eyebrow suggestively, letting her tongue peek between her teeth before she spoke. “Nothing for it, then; we’re gonna have to huddle for warmth.”

The Doctor huffed his amusement and led them to a sofa, where he took Rose into his arms, wrapping himself thoroughly around her, his mouth next to her ear. “This what you had in mind? Or did you want to strip naked first?”

If Rose’s cheeks hadn’t already been pink from the cold, they would’ve turned pink after that comment. She looked around, seeing that nobody was listening in, noticing that several couples were very wrapped up in each other. She remembered Jack’s comment about the loose public decency laws, and she bit back a grin before pulling back to look at the Doctor.

“Maybe this will help more,” she said, pressing her lips to his in a kiss he returned quite enthusiastically. It wasn’t until a waiter coughed politely in front of them that she realized quite how carried away they’d gotten, and that she was most definitely no longer cold. They hadn’t been quite so demonstrative in public before, and the Doctor was grinning innocently at the waiter.

The waiter, luckily, didn’t look annoyed or embarrassed. Instead, he offered them a lunch menu, explaining that meal service would be ending shortly, and they should order now if they were going to eat. Rose concentrated long enough to give the man her request. After he took the Doctor’s order, Rose watched him leave.

“This planet,” she asked, “has it got humans or just folks who look like humans?”

“How do you know it hasn’t got folks who humans look like?” the Doctor asked with a smirk, and Rose smacked his arm playfully.

“You know what I mean.”

The Doctor’s grin softened, and he nodded. “They’re human, at least mostly. There’s been some intermingling at this point, but mainly with other races who look the same. Waiter is probably 87% human, give or take.”

Said waiter returned before Rose could question the Doctor further, food already hot, and he put their plates and mugs in front of them with a flourish. The Doctor paid while Rose took a sip of the hot cocoa included with the meal, moaning in delight at both taste and warmth. The Doctor shot her a heated look but said nothing until they’d both finished eating.

“Time to find a room, I think.”

***

At the hotel, he signed them in using the same names he’d used back in the historical immersion: Doctor and Mrs. Tyler. The names distracted her from the previously heated direction of her thoughts. It didn’t seem to phase him in the slightest, pretending they were married again. Was it because he knew it wasn’t real? Was he able to ignore any implications that easily?

She tried to focus on the beauty of the hotel, on the day they’d had, on anything but a stupid, silly signature, but her tired mind kept coming back to it. She felt the Doctor’s eyes on her as they made their way upstairs. Once in the room, she found herself speaking as soon as the door was shut.

“Do you ever want to get married for real, Doctor?”

He shrugged. “Depends what you mean by ‘real.’ Can’t say I care much what other people think. If we want a piece of paper says we’re married, we can just use the psychic paper.” He paused, watching her as he sat on the bed. Rose crossed the room and sat next to him, taking a moment to appreciate the bounce of the mattress before looking back at him.

“But?” she prompted when he didn’t continue.

“But,” he said, “I do think about me and you being together. Don’t exactly mind it when we pretend to be married. You’ve said…” He takes a breath. “You’ve said you’re never leaving me. Way I see, it, then, if I feel the same, doesn’t matter whether we’re married or not. Doesn’t change anything. Doesn’t matter how anyone else sees it but me and you.”

Rose thought for a minute. “And you do? Feel the same, I mean?”

The Doctor gave her a look like she should already know the answer to that, and maybe she did, but it was still nice when he responded, “‘Course I do.” He took her hand, sliding a thumb over where a wedding ring would rest. “Could wear rings if you want, make it look more like we are, but none of that matters to me. Not unless you need it to.”

She took longer this time, the Doctor waiting patiently. Did she need it to? Did being married make a difference? Or, like he said, would it not change anything? They were good together. Maybe not perfect, but the fact was, she wouldn’t change them, wouldn’t change their relationship. He didn’t seem to object to marriage at all, and why would they put in the effort for a piece of paper, anyway? It wasn’t like she wanted to deal with a wedding, after all, not with all the fuss her mum would probably make, the looks she’d get from the people on the estate.

“You’re right,” she said. “A piece of paper wouldn’t change anything.” She hesitated. “Why’d you sign us in like we’re married, if it doesn’t make a difference? Doesn’t seem like they care here, if a couple is married or not when they share a room.”

The Doctor grinned, and as if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “Hotel’s running a special for their equivalent of Valentine’s Day. Married couples get treats you can’t get otherwise.”

He got up and took a tray from the woman at the door, passing her a few credits before shutting the door and joining Rose back on the bed. The tray was covered in what appeared to be fresh fruits and several dips.

“Local delicacies,” the Doctor explained, scooting back until he was comfortable at the head of the bed, gesturing for Rose to follow. “All these have been engineered to grow in this climate and in the local soil, won’t grow anywhere else. Don’t transport particularly well, either.” He dipped what looked like a purple strawberry with gold leaves into a white dip, then handed it to her. “They’re rumored to be aphrodisiacs, too, but that’s all just suggestion.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she laughed before taking a bite.

The fruit was tart and sweet, and the white dip added a hint of bitterness that only helped to balance the flavors. It reminded her a bit of strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, only with a trace of orange.

“It’s gorgeous, Doctor.”

He smiled, satisfied, and they relaxed together as they enjoyed both their snack and their evening.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor regenerates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I’m ending this a chapter or two earlier than I’d planned, but you’re not missing a lot. I was originally going to write about Tokyo, maybe after another chapter on Ck’larkktik, but this poor fic has been in progress for too long, and I hate leaving people (readers and the characters alike) hanging. The other chapters wouldn’t have added anything and were just going to be more fluff.
> 
> So this is the last chapter. I do think (hope) I still brought it to a good conclusion. This IS the end originally planned; a new Doctor is a new story, and one that if I can find my need to write Doctor and Rose again, I will tell eventually.
> 
> Thanks so much for coming along on this ride with me.
> 
> Note: Any dialogue you recognize is from Parting of the Ways, Born Again, or The Christmas Invasion.
> 
> Thank you, more than I can say, to Goingtothetardis and Scullywolf for their help throughout this series.

 

This couldn't be happening. None of it. They'd left Ck'larkktik for Tokyo, and then…

Then the game station and the Daleks and the whispers from the TARDIS that turned into screams, and now…

“I'm changing, Rose.”

The screams had subsided back into whispers, louder than before, but she pushed them aside, trying to remember anything that had happened after looking into the TARDIS, trying to understand what the Doctor was telling her, even though she was still disoriented from whatever had passed.

“Changing?” _Time Lords, we have this way of cheating death._ She searched his eyes as she remembered his words from Woman Wept, put it together with his rambling about two heads and Barcelona. “You’re dying,” she said, “or you would be.” She took a step closer, reaching out instinctively as he doubled over in pain.

“Stay away!” She stopped, watching as he caught his breath. “It’s a bit dodgy, this process.”

Rose couldn’t look away. She wanted to move closer, to touch him one last time, to memorize his face before she lost it forever.

“Before I go,” he started, but she shook her head.

“Don’t say that!” It didn’t matter in this moment that she knew much of him should stay the same; all she knew was that he was changing into someone entirely different. How could he be so casual about this?

“Rose,” he said gently, and she focused on her breathing to keep from interrupting him again. “Before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic.” He grinned, that tight smile that she knew hid so much, and it finally clicked for her that he wasn’t calm about this at all. “Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what?” She managed the smallest shake of her head. “So was I.”

She smiled weakly, still refusing to look away. “I love you, Doctor,” she said, because she needed to, because what if it was her last chance to say it?

“Oh, Rose,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

And then he burst into light. It streamed out of him, and she had to stop herself, again, from running toward him. She kept a hand on a coral strut, feeling something like sad reassurance from the ship, as she watched the man she loved turn into somebody else.

When the light faded, her Doctor was gone, a handsome stranger in front of her instead, still wearing the Doctor’s clothes.

“Hello,” he said. “Okay… New teeth, that’s weird. So where was I? Oh, that’s right: Barcelona.”

He _beamed_ at her, a completely untroubled smile, and even though she knew on some level that it was still the Doctor, she couldn’t quite reconcile this man with the one who stood there moments ago.

It didn’t help when he started rambling, not in the way she was used to, but in a way that reminded her a bit of a kid who’d gotten ahold of too much sugar. His movements were just as energetic; he appeared entirely unable to stand still.

He finally seemed to take in the fact the Rose herself hadn’t moved, hadn’t said anything beyond single-word responses.

“I’m still me, Rose,” he said, his voice calmer than it had been, taking on the same careful quality he’d used with her so often, and he came closer.

But he was missing his accent. He was missing his eyes, his ears, his _face._ Knowing this could happen and actually seeing it were two very, very different things.

He started talking about how they’d met, sliding his hand into hers, and she closed her eyes. It was a different hand, but he still held hers in the same way he always had, from the beginning. There was just the right amount of pressure, the obvious affection.

“Doctor…” she whispered, opening her eyes.

“Hello,” he said, grinning again and going back to the manic rambling, talking about other experiences they’d shared while running, twirling, literally hopping around the console, and she knew he was trying to get her to laugh.

But it hurt.

She wanted to ask him if he could change back, but she already knew the answer, and she didn’t want to hurt him, too. Of course, she hurt him anyway, asking if they could go home. It wasn’t that she wanted to get away from him, but it was too much, knowing he was the Doctor but not being able to _believe_ it. It was like she’d lost him and hadn’t all in one. She needed the stability, the familiarity of home.

And then he was in physical pain again, and they were crashing to Earth, and he was passing out in front of her mum and Mickey.

~O~O~O~

Rose cared for him as best she could while he was unconscious. She would have even if she didn’t believe it was him. Something in her own heart settled, though, when she heard both of his hearts beating, slow and steady through the borrowed stethoscope, the familiar rhythm she’d woken up hearing under her ear so many times.

She tried to relax after that, but she and Mickey were attacked by musical, mechanical Santas.

Then by a Christmas tree that somehow delivered itself.

When she really, desperately needed the Doctor, he woke up long enough to save them and point them in a direction—and the way he touched her, looked at her, went a long way toward making it feel more like he was really the Doctor—and then he was out again.

Rose managed without him because she could and because she really didn’t have another choice. She wouldn’t say she managed _well_ —she cried, complained, and doubted—but she managed. And if she couldn’t save everyone, she could damn well at least save the people she cared about.

Funnily enough, she was much more confident once she was face-to-face with the Sycorax, despite the fact that she couldn’t understand the leader at first, even though the TARDIS’s whispering hadn’t quite faded entirely. She’d handled enough death threats before, with and without the Doctor, and now there was something she could _do,_ or at least try.

And then the Doctor was there, and he was awake, and of course he ignored the threatening aliens in favor of asking Rose how he _looked._

She wasn’t sure why, but it helped. It seemed just the thing her Doctor would have done.

Because it was.

He mixed his new brand of rambling with observations that seemed very him, all combined with more overt flirting than Rose was accustomed to in public. He was a bit sarcastic and a bit rude and, alright, more than a bit fit.

After the Sycorax were gone, they had Christmas dinner with her mum and Mickey, and it was…

The Doctor felt more and more like himself, despite the fact that he seemed like he was actually having _fun_ with her family instead of complaining. He wasn’t even pretending to hate it. Almost every time she looked at him—which might have been a good deal more often than she really had reason to—he was watching her with such adoration that she couldn’t help but believe he felt the same about her as he had before he changed.

It helped, and she was able to enjoy herself, the company, and the celebration.

~O~O~O~

They were alone in her room in the flat later that night, after the others had gone to sleep. There was just the one bed, and there was her and the Doctor, and sharing a bed with him hadn’t been awkward since the immersion. He was different now, though, as much as he was still the same, and Rose felt a surge of self-conscious awareness as they both sat, still fully clothed.

Their hands found each other before she found her voice. She listened instead as he rambled on about the day, about places they could go. Finally, in a quiet moment, she spoke.

“You’re still you.” It was a statement more than a question, but he answered anyway.

“I’m still me.”

Rose leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know you look different,” she said, “and I know you talk more.” She smiled for a moment, then frowned as she tried to gather her words. “You said… Back on Woman Wept, you said that what you feel for me wouldn’t change—”

“It hasn’t,” he interrupted firmly. She pulled back so she could see him, and he was watching her with that same adoring look he’d been aiming her way all day, but it was mixed with some of his old intensity. “I told you how I felt for you would never change, and I meant it. It never will, Rose.”

She swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, something she’d seen him do more than once that day. “What about you? Did… Do you still…”

“You mean, do I still love you? Cause you’ve changed?”

The Doctor dropped his hand to his side and nodded. “Yes. That.”

“I wasn’t sure at first,” she said honestly. “I wasn’t sure I believed you were really still you. I know you told me it could happen, but we never really talked details, you know? And it’s something that I don’t think someone can really prepare for.” She squeezed his hand. “But I believe it now, Doctor. You’re still you, and I’ll always love you. Doesn’t matter what you look like.”

His hand came up again, this time to cup her cheek, and she leaned into it—another touch that felt the same as it used to—and he leaned forward to kiss her, moving slowly enough that she could refuse if she didn’t want to be kissed.

She wanted to be kissed.

There was a moment where she almost felt like she was cheating on the Doctor, which was ridiculous because she’d accepted it was him, but she closed her eyes and tilted her head, and when his lips touched hers, she melted into it.

His lips were softer than they used to be, but he still clearly remembered how she liked to be kissed, and he did it with at least as much finesse as he had previously.

She was breathless by the time they parted, but looking into his warm, brown eyes turned her thoughts away from anything she might normally have suggested following a kiss like that.

“Is it okay if—” she started. “I mean, just for tonight, can we not…”

The Doctor ran a hand through her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We can take all the time you need, Rose. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

The rush of relief she felt told her she’d made the right call. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to,” she clarified. “And I know you’re still you, I really do. It’s just… You changed, and I’m just not quite…”

“It’s alright, Rose. I can wait.”

She shifted and leaned back against his shoulder, gripping his hand, appreciating the silence as he let her think.

Rose didn’t exactly plan on waiting _long_ before sleeping with him. He was rather exactly her type. But part of her still mourned the loss of the face she associated with her Doctor, and she just wasn’t quite ready.

But they were still in love, and they weren’t going anywhere unless it was together.

“I _am_ going to take the rest of you for a test drive,” she said, ignoring the flush in her cheeks at the words, “just not tonight. But when we _do,_ it’s going to be…”

“Fantastic,” he finished.

And it really was. Not just the sex, but everything. He was more open in some ways, more closed off in others, but he was still the Doctor, and as long as the Doctor and Rose Tyler were together, everything was always as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you know I struggled for years, since I started Western Immersion, on whether or not to let the Doctor regenerate. In the end, though, I had to. It felt right for the story and the relationship. It'll never be perfect, but it'll always be THEM, and I wanted to reflect that.


End file.
